'Astronautical' doesn't really mean anything; I just made it up. -- Adam Cadre, Photopia

IT60: Kent Brockman Reporting

Today’s IT is brought to you by the fact that BBC News is reporting that “A Chinese company chairman has been sentenced to death for running a scam involving giant ants.” Seems he rooked investors into sinking lots of money (About 3 billion Yuan, that’s somewhere in the neighborhood of $400 million US) into a company on the claims that they were breeding medicinal ants.
I think the BBC has this a bit wrong. Compare their lead with that of Spain’s EiTB: Chinese man sentenced to death for giant scam to breed ants. It wasn’t the ants that were gigantic, it was the scam.
All the same, here’s the thing that popped into my head:


I, for one, welcome our new ant overlords.

IT59: According to Bartlett


Senator Ted Stevens (R- Alaska): The Internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a big truck. It’s a series of tubes. And if you don’t understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it’s going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.
Nathanial Mayweather: These pipes are clean!

IT57: Pinch Hitter

So, I looked at the previous Inappropriate Thoughts on a computer with a bigger screen, and it turns out that the alligator in question is typing on a keyboard, and not savagely rogering an umpire after all. My bad.
As a result, I feel I ought to offer a free replacement:

it57

That is a refreshingly honest and direct headline. I just wish I could work the phrase “savagely rogering” into your replacement comment.

Good news/Bad news

I’ve had something of a bimodal month.
12/31: Jamie died
1/15: Was issued a housing code violation for the Gasoline Alley-like state of my back yard. Given 10 days to repair the situation and get it inspected
1/17: Took the car into the shop on account of exhaust system noises that sounded indicative of me not being likely to pass the emissions inspection I had to have by the end of the month
1/18: Found out that the whole exhaust system had disintegrated and repairs would cost $1,000
1/19: Recieved housing code violation, realized I had much less than 10 days, thanks to the delay in my getting it.
1/20: Cleaned up and relandscaped the back yard. Despite soreness, felt strangely good for the exercise. Felt unstrangely bad on seeing the bill from the Home Despot.
1/21: Set myself on fire. No, really. Bumped into a space heater and ignighted part of my jacket. Didn’t notice for several minutes as my coat smouldered. Found a Nintendo DS game in the parking lot (Mario vs. Donkey Kong 3). Finished work on back yard. I think technically I had completed the work mandatated by the city on Friday night, but I wanted to reduce the chances of this ever happening again by sealing up everything that tends to accumulate drifting loose trash. Then it started to snow.
1/22: Found out that the inspector couldn’t come by today on account of the snow
1/24: Recieved another housing code violation, dated 1/22 (yes, after I’d cleaned the place up) for the same thing. Found out the inspector wasn’t going to be back in the office until Friday.
1/25: Recieved letter of abatement on the first violation.
1/26: Played phone tag with my doctor and the inspector both, as he’d gotten some blood test results back (from October; mix-up at the lab), and she was in a meeting all day. Told that the second notice was the result of some bad timing, and that, though I didn’t have to do anything, she had to come back and take more photos of my yard. She also told me that I had to get rid of the boxes under my porch. As these boxes do not exist, and one of Saturday’s repairs was to seal up the space under the porch, I suspect she went to the wrong house (My next-door neighbors do have some boxes under their porch), but that she’d take care of it.
1/27: Turned 28. The love of my life gave me a Nintendo Wii. Got happy and forgot my troubles for a bit. Got drunk and remembered them, but only for a bit. At any rate, there was a whole lot of me being happy going around. I mean, a Nintendo Wii is one of the best presents you can get from someone, aside from a pony, and I don’t really want a pony anyway. And I’d have been happy enough just to spend the day with her, so this was like ultimate happiness on top of ultimate happiness. Zelda is hard when you’re left-handed. I bet this is how generations of Right-handed gamers felt trying to learn to use a thumbstick with their left hand.
1/28: Dinner with my parents, who gave me a cordless Dremmel tool. Damned fine dinner too. Still have leftovers. Sneezed violently and somehow bruised my throat. Gave Mario vs. Donkey Kong 3 to my sister.
1/30: Went to Target in search of band aids and Wii/Gamecube games. Bought a new Optimus Prime (My third in the past year, though I still regret not having bought the Energon version. This one was a bit crap, but he came with a Megatron and a Bonus DVD. Ended up with $1.68 on the Target giftcard I got for Christmas. Tried to buy a cup of coffee at the Target Starbucks with the target giftcard and a Starbucks gift card. Barrista ran them through in the wrong order, so now I have a Target gift card with $1.68 on it and a Starbucks gift card with $6 on it, and still have to tote both of them around.
1/31: I’ll tell you later.
But let me tell you. The Wii is FUN. I’ll upload a picture of My Mii once I work out how to get one without buying a bluteooth card for my computer.

IT56: And I thought Laywering Was A Rough Profession

I’ve actually got several friends in the insurance industry. Not that it’s germane or anything. But I saw this a while ago:

it056

I’m not going to tell you what an alligator savagely rogering an umpire has to do with insurance reform. You’re just going to have to read the article for yourself.