Category: Inappropriate Thoughts

(Back next week. Something funny occurred to me instead that I wanted to post about this week)

This is what I think of whenever they talk about an exciting new re-org at work…

 

Inspired by a comment thread at Slacktivist:

 

And that’s why you shouldn’t build your entire religion on an inflexible all-or-nothing appeal to “literalism”.

You should probably be glad I didn’t find an excuse to include red-diapered Sean Connery in my Megatron/Zardoz joke. (Closed Caption version below the fold)

Continue reading A Second Amendment Crisis

The other day, Leah gave me a ride to work, which gave me the chance to give the scenery a more thorough look-over than usual. As we passed a church, I noticed this sign, lovingly recreated via internet church sign generator:

When I saw this, several things instantly popped into my head…

You can also pretend it’s a fortune cookie: Prepare for the next level of blessing — in bed!

Prepare for the next level of blessing, SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY! With TRUCKZILLA!.

This year’s last installment of IT comes with my greetings for the season. Here, in this most festive of seasons, is a picture I took at Six Flags America a year or so ago, which I think summarizes the spirit of the holidays:

Peace

Seen at a Wal-Mart:

So they purified the water by adding minerals in order to give the water an enhanced flavor. Because normal water is neither pure enough nor has it sufficient flavor.

I have often contended that there is something perhaps culturally or perhaps linguistically straightforward about the Spanish language. I had assumed at first this was simply because my knowledge of the language is based on two semesters in high school and my vocabulary is mostly limited to “things found in a classroom”, but from time to time I have seen evidence that this trend may exist out in the real world. For example, and I an finding it hard to believe Google when it tells me I haven’t already told you this story, I once caught a commercial for some spanish-language comedy show, and, where an American show might use a word like “zany” or “laughtacular” or “supercalifragilisticexpialiawacky”, the whole of their sales pitch seemed to be “Es muy divertido.” (It’s quite entertaining).
Which is why I found this sign at a JC Penney’s in New Jersey, a lot of fun:

In English, we sugar coat it. In Spanish: Extra large sizes for ladies. I am reasonably sure that I once saw a similar sign rendered as Tallas para damas mas grandes.

Smoking this area may be hazardous to your health

Seen outside a Ruby Tuesday in Columbia:

I have a new expression to describe someone whose intellect is suspect: Two motorcycles short of a Power Ranger team

Seen in the Tremont Grand hotel in Baltimore:

This is a neat visual effect wherein it looks like the hot french maid on the mural is interacting with the strange cabinet, which almost makes it seem like the maid is in the room with you. And by “the room”, I mean “the mens room,” which is where this mural was.