And in this corner, weighing in at 2.2 tons, Colossus “The Forbin” Project!
IT53: Would You Like To Play A Game?
And in this corner, weighing in at 2.2 tons, Colossus “The Forbin” Project!
Author: Ross
And in this corner, weighing in at 2.2 tons, Colossus “The Forbin” Project!
The Thought That Counts
This Christmas, I tried to be all subtle about what I wanted, thinking I was too old to go around making Christmas lists. As it turns out, subtlty is not my strong suit. Seems that after my long stint as a Person of Little Income, I’m not very comfortable asking for things I could do without or buy myself. In fact, it’s really difficult for me to write this now. Just feels sort of childish.
But anyway, the point of this little story is that I’ve got a birthday coming up. This post is not me asking for stuff. This post is just to document some things I’d really like to have. Also, I’ll point out that I’ve had an amazon.com wishlist hiding behind one of those little badges on the left side of the screen just about ever since I switched to Movable Type.
So, if you were a person looking to get me something but you don’t know what I’d like, here are some things I’d like. Don’t feel yourself constrained to this list in any way. And if you aren’t looking to get me something, then please don’t. The last thing I need is a perfunctory gift that gives me the feeling that you didn’t want to get me anything but felt duty-bound to do so.
- A cordless dremmel tool, having burned out my corded dremmel knock-off last year
- A Nintendo Wii & the new Zelda Game, because these are so hard to get that I ought to start asking now if I want to get one in time for next Christmas.
- A Nintendo DS *amp; the new Super Mario game, the new DS Zelda game, or the not-so-new Metroid game, because every person in Japan has three of them by now, and I’m jealous
- A Bluetooth Headset so that I do not crash my car while talking on the phone. Don’t care much about the brand per se, so long as it’s a good unit. The kind that has a ring to clip over your ear, not the kind that holds itself up by your ear canal.
- A new car, because mine is broken
- Transformers Milennium Falcon It transforms into Han and Chewie robots. How cool is that?
- A Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle BB gun with a compass in the stock and a thing which tells time –wait. On second thought, naah. I’d shoot my eye out.
Old News
Cultists disrupt traditional values
Judea, AD 1 // Visiting foreign dignitaries caused some controversy this weekend in a meeting with King Herod. Three visiting kings, who have asked to remain anonymous, claimed that an infant child born recently in Bethlehem is the true king of the Jews. When questioned about the purpose of their visit, the dignitaries explained, “We three kings of orient are. Bearing gifts, we come from afar.” Sources close to the administration report that King Herod has dismissed the kings as “A bunch of Wise Guys.” The infant, Jesus of Nazareth, has already gained a strong grassroots following, particularly among members of area livestock unions, who claim the child is the son of God and the fulfilment of ancient prophesy. The Roman governor could not be reached for comment, but is allegedly “very concerned” that this new cult may be developing “Weapons of Divine Wrath-related program activities.” The parents of the child have thus far refused to allow Herod’s Messiah Inspection Teams access to the child, further fueling fears about their intentions, and speculation about possible links to other radical religious groups in the region, including the sect led by John The Baptist, whose whereabouts are still unknown despite massive search efforts throughout the holy lands. But the emerging cult, who have taken to calling themselves “Jesus Freaks”, claim to be committed to total pacifism, and are interested in nothing more than giving each other gifts in honor of their leader’s birth. However, not everyone considers their message of peace to be quite so harmless. Well known political commentator Punditus Maximus has written a series of scathing scrolls in which he accuses the cult members of engaging in activities incompatable with traditional Roman family values. In his most recent work, “They do WHAT to their penises?”, he claims that their decision to celebrate the birth of Jesus in December is a shameless attempt to undermine Roman tradition. Accusing the cultists of waging a “War on Saturnalia,” he calls for a wide-scale boycott of any store where shopworkers use the new greeting “Happy Holy Day,” in place of the traditional, “Lo, Saturnalia.” Boycott is, of course, a Gallic word meaning “To feed to lions.” In what may be a related story, King Herod has denied rumors that there are any plans for a “slaughter of innocents” and suggests that parents of infant boys contact their local magistrates for important information related to a new anti-terrorism program known as “No Child Left Alive”.
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[DISCLAIMER: The story you have just read is made up. Any similarities to real events are totally… Well, okay, they’re all intentional. But they’re just here for the sake of making a joke. If anything sounds suspiciously parallel to actual news stories, that’s just because I thought it was funnier that way. Fuck em if they can’t take a joke]
Everybody Lives!
I haven’t slept in a long time, so I may say more after a nap. But here’s the Reader’s Digest Version:
It’s going to be hard. Don’t quite know yet how we’re going to handle it. But we’re going to. Ladies and gentlemen, we are back together.
As I’m not really coherent right now, that’s all I have to say on the matter. Except that I am tired, dizzy, sore, and I can’t remember the last time I was this happy.
And since I now know for a fact that she’s reading: Miss you already. See you soon