Funniest thing today:
Resistance is Ewetile
Author: Ross
One for Perry Mason
Just wondering:
Suppose a man standing in Four Corners, NM, shoots someone across the line in Arizona. The victim falls forward into Utah, rolls over into Colorado, and dies.
Murder is a state crime. Which state gets jurisdiction?
ITCXIII: A Cunning Stunt
Trivia Question: In this picture, is the president sad because (a) The public has cottoned on to the fact that Global Warming may indeed actually exist, (b) The recent school board decisions in Florida that schools don’t have to teach the “scientific controversy” over evolution because there actually is no scientific controversy over it, (c) Someone just explained that “stunning” does not mean “very pretty” in this context, or (d) because he heard the name “Welch” and thought there would be delicious grape jelly?
ITCXII: Oh No You Dih-Unt
IT 111 has been pulled for not being funny.
According to their president, Iran does not have any homosexuals. They do, however, have a sizeable population of Drag Queens, each one of them prepared to start a prissy little slap-fight with any bitch that gives them shit.
ITCX: Big Sister is Watching You
Clipped from a flash ad that ran some time ago on Bank of America’s homepage…
If you want a vision of the future, imagine a six inch heel stamping on mortgage rates – forever.
ITCIX: Allons-y, Allonzo
You know, it has oft been noted that the Swiss Army Knife, while incredibly handy, contains tools oriented more toward, say, a boy scout than to a soldier in the field. A number of reasons have been proposed for this, including the fact that Switzerland hasn’t been to war in hundreds of years. But things could be worse:
Behold: The French army knife.
Tales of Interest
Inspired by i can has cheezburger
I play, I may have mentioned, in a bar trivia league.
Once, a few years ago now, during one game, one of the members of an opposing team took issue with something the host did. She expressed her disapproval by holding a stuffed rabbit up in the air and declaring, “THE BUNNY SAYS NO!”
Until this moment, I did not fully comprehend this statement.
The bunny says no.
ITCVIII: Happy New Year
In Google Russia, TV watches you
ITCV-CVII: Things that aren’t funny
So, you may have guessed that I actually stockpile these months in advance. One side effect is that by the time I actually post them, I’ve had time to realize that they’re less funny than I thought.
So here’s a bunch from my backlog that, upon reflection, are not funny…
I was going to make a Face/Off joke here, but it seemed to be in poor taste upon reflection
And here, I was going to make a vibrator joke, but it got exponentially less funny as I thought about the fact that there were children in the picture
And this one, now that I think about it, is total pants.
ITCIVilization
Why can’t political news writers write like this? Could you even imagine seeing a headline that read “(insert-political-leader-here) says that tax cuts for the rich benefit the poor too, but he’s wrong”?
Update 12/12:
Leah points out that I should not be so hasty in my praise for the headline writer: Ehrenberg may be wrong, but at least he can tell an XBox 360 from a Wii