The businessmen, they drink my wine; the ploughmen dig my earth. None of them along the line know what any of it is worth. -- Bob Dylan, All Along the Watchtower

Fiction: Winnie-the-Pooh and Geocaching 2

We start drifting a little from the way we originally told the story here because I couldn’t figure out how to make the original sequence of events make sense, but I assure you I have captured the overall gist of it.


In Which Evelyn Returns to the Hundred Acre Wood, and Piglet Almost Meets a Muggle

A day or so later, Evelyn once again decided to go for a scooter-walk to the Hundred Acre wood. And before long, she came to the home of the Piglet. Evelyn knew it was Piglet’s house the moment she saw it, because it was a beech tree, and because it was next to a sign that said, “TRESPASSERS W”, and because Piglet was standing in front of it, sweeping the dust from his front step.

“Hello Piglet,” Evelyn said. “I’m Evelyn. I know you are Piglet, and you’re Winnie-the-Pooh’s friend.”

“Hallo, Evelyn,” said Piglet. “Pooh Bear told me all about your Expotition. It sounded like quite the grand adventure.”

Evelyn thought that Piglet sounded rather sad, as though he were very sorry to have missed the Expotition. In fact, Piglet was mostly of the opinion that the very best sorts of grand adventures were the ones that were already over and done with so that everyone could enjoy a pleasant Pooh Hum about them.

Evelyn said, “We could go on our own Expotition if you like. And you could find the treasure yourself.”

“Hm,” said Piglet. “I suppose if it’s an adventure, I should go. But are we likely to meet any Heffalumps on the way? Because I very nearly met a Heffalump once, and I shouldn’t like to repeat it if Pooh isn’t about. It’s so much safer with two, you know.”

“I don’t think we’ll see any Heffalumps,” Evelyn said in a breezy sort of way. “But we must be on the lookout for Muggles.”

“Oh dear,” Piglet said in a worried sort of way. “Are Muggles terribly ferocious?”

“No, no, Piglet,” said Evelyn. “Muggles are what Geocachers call people who don’t know about Geocaching. You have to be very careful not to let a Muggle see you when you find a geocache, because they don’t know the rules.”

“Well that’s all right then,” said Piglet, and so he and Evelyn and Red Zoomer set off, past the six pine trees, and toward the little spinney where Pooh had once failed to catch a woozle, and over the river, and at long last to the shady spot quite near the North Pole.

Evelyn showed Piglet how they had to search. Piglet looked under stones and between sticks and had just spotted the treasure jar inside the knot-hole when a rustling sound came from beyond the clearing. “Muggles!” Piglet shouted, and hid himself in the knot-hole at once.

But Evelyn just laughed. “Look, Piglet,” she said. “It’s your friends Tigger and Roo.”

And so it was. That morning, after Tigger and Roo had their breakfast of malt extract and tea cakes, they had gone out for a bounce in the woods, and by chance had happened upon the little shady spot just as Piglet had found the treasure. Piglet poked his head up out of the knot-hole, and in a very cautious voice, asked, “But are they muggles?”

“I’ll check,” Evelyn said. “Hi Tigger, I’m Evelyn. Do you know about geocaching?”

Tigger, being that sort of tigger, puffed out is chest and said, “‘Course I do. Catching geodes is what Tiggers do best!” and to demonstrate, he bounced straight up into the air, snatched something, and presented it to Evelyn. “See?” he asked.

It quickly became clear to Evelyn that Tigger had confused geodes with cicadas, for there were rather a lot of them this year. Evelyn leaned down close to Piglet and whispered, “I think they might be Muggles, Piglet. You know what that means.”

Piglet did not know what that means, and said so, but Evelyn smiled and said, “It means we get to teach them all about it!” And so she did, explaining to Tigger and Roo all about Geocaching, and how to follow a map, and how to search for treasure, and how they could trade something if they found it. Roo thought this was all terribly exciting and began pointing all about at every crook and hole and shadow on every tree and begging Tigger to climb up and look. Tigger, who had learned his lesson about climbing trees, was rather nervous about the prospect, and contented himself to searching just the branches that were below bouncing height.

Piglet climbed out of the knot-hole and made a grand show of searching as well, because he thought it would be rather impressive if he pretended not to know where the treasure was, and then just sort of found it in a casual sort of way. But he left it too long, and little Roo bounced into the knot-hole and found the treasure himself. Piglet was greatly disappointed by this, but Evelyn game him a knowing sort of wink, which made him feel better about the whole thing.

Evelyn helped Roo open the jar, and they all looked at the many small treasures inside. Evelyn suggested that Piglet should choose first, as he was the first one to join the Expotition. Inside the jar, Piglet found a Lego figure that looked just like himself, and he thought that it was so perfect that maybe someone had left it there just for him. Evelyn agreed that was a very likely thing, and asked what treasure he was going to leave in its place.

Lego Piglet“I hadn’t thought of that,” Piglet said. “I suppose I could leave a haycorn.”

“I don’t know, Piglet,” said Evelyn. “It could be a long time before the next person finds the Geode Catch, and the haycorn could be spoiled by then.”

Piglet, who was starting to feel a little peckish, was relieved to hear that. So instead, he checked himself all over. As it happened, Piglet was wearing a brand new sweater, or jumper, depending on your localization and what sort of stone Harry Potter found in your area. And it came with a very splendid extra button. As Piglet – having the wrong sort of fingers for buttoning buttons – never buttoned the buttons on his sweater, or jumper, to begin with, he didn’t imagine he would need a spare. Evelyn agreed that a pretty button was a very good sort of treasure, so Piglet traded it for the little Lego Piglet.

Next, it was Roo’s turn. Roo had a few marbles in his pocket, and he traded them for some marbles that he found in the jar, and if you could tell the difference between the marbles he started with and the marbles he ended with, you have a keener eye than I do, but Roo was happy with the trade.

Tigger key
Turns out Disney did make a fancy collectible Tigger-themed decorative key , but this feels truer to the original intent.

Finally, it was Tigger’s turn. Tigger’s first thought was to take the very button that Piglet had just left, but Evelyn suggested it might be more fun to leave that for someone who didn’t know where it had come from. So Tigger dug down deeper in the jar and found a Tigger-shaped key. “A Tigger key!” he exclaimed. “Why, this is the most tigger-riffic treasure I’ve ever found!” and in trade, he left one of his extra springs, feeling that with his new key, he was entirely bouncy enough without it.

Afterward, everyone wrote their names in the log book. Piglet, of course, could write his own name. Roo could not, but insisted on trying anyway. Tigger, after insisting that name-writing was what Tiggers did best, and then fumbling with the pen several times because pens are not a good fit for Tigger-paws, conceded that, “Tiggers don’t like using pens,” and let Evelyn write it for him as he spelled his name out for her: T-I-GG-R.

Once the cache was safely put away, Tigger and Roo bounced happily off into the woods to find whatever locks they could try Tigger’s new key on, and Evelyn climbed aboard Red Zoomer to see Piglet home and perhaps have a little lunch, because she had never tried haycorns before. But just as they were passing the six pine trees, a passing squirrel dropped a nut into a pile of dry leaves and it made a little rustle and Piglet, who had been thinking in a very thoughtful sort of way about the day’s adventure, was so startled that he suddenly shouted, “M- M- Muggles!” and ran all the way home.

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