How could I explain? You would not want to hear. -- Sarah McLachlan, Home

Come Dream With Me Tonight…

Did you know that they’ve released a new version of Teddy Ruxpin? This one retains the original’s animatronic mouth, but swaps cassettes for bluetooth and soulless robot eyes for LCD screens showing the souls of the forsaken children that were harvested to make him.

Also, he goes through batteries really fast. Here is what happens when the NiMH rechargeables you put in him can’t provide enough power to make him work, but are still charged enough for him to power up:

Yeah. Yeah sure. Glowing, yet somehow still-black eyes. That’s a reasonable failure state and not a recipe for traumatizing children.

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