You should be women, and yet your beards forbid me to interpret that you are so. -- Shakespeare, Macbeth I.iii

Tales From /lost+found 177: The Return of Varnax, Part 1

6×21 May 31, 2002
THE RETURN OF VARNAX, PART 1 (Serial 94, Episode 1)

Setting: Varnax’s Emboitment, 2002
Regular Cast: Hugh Laurie (The Doctor), Scarlett Johanssen (Alice), Lee Thompson Young (Leo), and introducing Rowan Atkinson as The Doctor
Guest Cast: David Warner (Varnax), Peter Cullen (voice of the Cyb), Cam Clarke (voice of the Dalek), Alec Newman (vampire)

Plot: After Korven’s death, the Doctor, Leo and Alice flee deeper into the emboitment. The Doctor gives a brief account of his history with Varnax, that they had once been friends, but Varnax had led the final assault in which his planet was destroyed. The twisted dimensions of the emboitment act as a maze, and cause the Doctor’s alien senses extreme pain. Alice offers him an asprin, but he refuses as it is poisonous to his species. After finding a hull panel embedded in a wall, the Doctor realizes that Varnax survived his apparent death five years earlier by temporally inverting his own timeship. The cost of this inversion is that the ship has become a trap for him, and Varnax must steal the life force of time travelers to survive outside it. In the intervening years, a number of other aliens have become trapped in the emboitment, including a Dalek and Cyb, which the Doctor and the others must flee from. Leo encounters a fragment of the N-form, leading to the group being separated, and Alice is captured by Varnax. Varnax can’t steal her life force because Alice has never traveled in time, and instead uses her as bait for the Doctor. He tells Alice his version of his history with the Doctor. He turned against the Doctor when the Time Lords refused to intervene to save Varnax’s planet at the hands of a foe he refuses to discuss. Leo is able to get the drop on Varnax and rescues Alice but is caught himself. When Varnax prepares to feed on Leo, the Doctor offers himself up instead. Feeding on a Time Lord will give Varnax enough energy to escape the emboitment for good, but when he tries to consume the Doctor’s life force, something goes wrong, causing Varnax to age rapidly and he is forced to flee. The Doctor reveals that he had taken the bottle of asprin from Alice’s purse. Varnax could not consume his life force because he was already dying. The Doctor collapses, and to the shock of his companions, changes into an entirely new man.

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