It's rather unpleasantly like being drunk."
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"You ask a glass of water.
-- Douglas Adams, The Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Episode 1

Tales from /lost+found 125: Plastic Fantastic

3×15 March 5, 1999
PLASTIC FANTASTIC (Serial 34, Episode 2)

Setting: Seattle, WA, UNIT-time
Regular Cast: Hugh Laurie (The Doctor), Sarah Michelle Gellar (Lizzie Thompson)
Guest Starring: Jonathan Frakes (Agent Blackwood), Barry Jenner (Colonel Ross), Jason Alexander (Sam Kurros), Malcolm McDowell (Mr. McMaster/The Master)

Plot: With just seconds to spare, Lizzie reprograms the radio transmitter at KACL to cancel out the activation signal, preventing the Auton toys all over Seattle from activating. Agent Blackwood still can’t get authorization from his superiors to raid Delgado Plastics. The Doctor and Lizzie decide to sneak in. They are caught by Kurros when they try to sabotage the Nestene host body. The Doctor tries to persuade Kurros that the Nestene Consciousness will turn on him once their host body is ready, but Kurros seems unconvinced and locks them in a room full of activated Auton toys. The Doctor is able to fend them off with his sonic screwdriver long enough for Lizzie to escape, but is engulfed by the toys himself. Kurros finds the apparently dead Doctor a short time later and has his body dumped. When he relates this to his partner, Mr. McMaster, McMaster becomes enraged and uses a control device to have Kurros consumed by the plastic chair in which he is sitting. UNIT locates the Doctor’s seemingly dead body, whereupon he recovers, revealing that his Time Lord biology allowed him to bypass his respiratory system, preventing the plastic beads from entering his lungs. McMaster confronts the Doctor and Lizzie at KACL and attempts to warn them off. He is surprised the Doctor doesn’t recognize him. Blackwood threatens to arrest McMaster, but is stopped by Colonel Ross, who takes charge of the investigation and orders UNIT to leave Delgado Plastics alone, despite McMaster having all but confessed. Once the Doctor and Lizzie are alone, the plastic strap from Lizzie’s handbag comes to life and attempts to strangle her. The Doctor manages to modify a portable radio transmitter to neutralize it. They realize that the Nestenes do not need to manufacture Auton devices, but can animate any plastic object using their control signals, and when the full Nestene Consciousness arrives on Earth, the engineered host will serve only as the central brain for it, while every plastic object on Earth will become its body. The Doctor calculates that the KACL radio transmitter is not large enough to handle the bandwidth required for the entire Nestene Consciousness to come to Earth, and theorizes that they must have another receiver. Colonel Ross tries to have the Doctor and Lizzie arrested, but the Doctor uses his portable transmitter, revealing Ross as an Auton duplicate. Agent Blackwood orders a raid at Delgado Plastics, but the factory is abandoned when they arrive, with the Nestene host body having been already removed. Oddly, the large safe in McMaster’s office is also gone. Lizzie hacks their computer network and discovers a series of purchase orders leading them to the Space Needle. The Doctor determines that Nestene technology could effectively transform the needle into a crude but high-bandwidth radio telescope. McMaster activates the receiver just as UNIT arrives, and all over Seattle, plastic objects come to life and attack their owners. The Doctor fights his way to the top of the needle and confronts McMaster as he connects the receiver to the now-completed host body. McMaster is still confident that he can control the Nestenes. His confidence seems misplaced when he is attacked himself by plastic-coated cables. Angry at this betrayal, he produces a bottle of specialized solvent, which he pours onto the host body. The destruction of the host causes the Nestenes to lose control of the plastic in the building, giving the Doctor time to reverse the polarity of the receiver, repelling the Nestene Consciousness back into deep space. As UNIT agents storm the building, McMaster slips away to a back room, where the safe from his office inexplicably stands. Moments before Blackwood enters the room, McMaster climbs into the safe, which vanishes, accompanied by the distinctive sound of the TARDIS’s engines. Blackwood again tries to persuade the Doctor to stay on with UNIT. He recognizes that Lizzie is homesick, and gives Blackwood a communication device he can use to summon them in emergencies.

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