A Partial List of Questions My Son Has Asked Which Are More Difficult To Answer than “Can two dudes get married?”

(War of the Worlds will be back next week.)

1. Daddy, why would the police shoot a little boy?
2. Daddy, is Donald Trump bad?
3. Daddy, what’s war?
4. Daddy, why do some people think Donald Trump is good?
5. If there was a bad guy, should I sacrifice myself to save Evelyn?
6. Daddy, what’s hell?
7. (While watching a nature documentary) Daddy, what’s that boy impala doing to that lady impala?
8. (Later) What’s that boy stag beetle doing to that lady stag beetle?
9. (Seriously?) What’s that boy crab doing to that lady crab?
10. (Why is there a solid half-hour of this nature documentary devoted to watching animals boink?) What’s that water buffalo doing to that lady water buffalo?
11. Are sharks bad?
12. What happens when we die?
13. Why doesn’t mommy have a penis?
14. Does it hurt trees when they lose their leaves?
15. Why did they cancel Larry Willmore?