But it's bad, and it's mad, and it's making me sad, because I can't be with you. -- Cranberries, I can't be with you

For years, the religious right told me this conversation would be hard.

Scene: Interior, night. The kitchen. DADDY is washing dishes.

DADDY
Where’s my ring? (Looks down to family room) Oh. There it is.

DYLAN
I never saw your ring before.

He runs down to look at it and comes back.

DYLAN
Oh. I’ve seen your wedding ring. You always wear your wedding ring.

DADDY
Yes, except when I’m doing something that gets my hands wet

DYLAN
I never wear a wedding ring. Because I’m not even married!

They laugh.

DYLAN
Boys only marry girls. Boys can’t marry boys.

DADDY
Boys can marry other boys if they want.

DYLAN
You’re telling a joke! That’s so silly!

DADDY
No, really. Most boys marry girls and most girls marry boys, but some boys marry boys and some girls marry girls and that’s fine too if it’s what they want.

DYLAN
Oh. I think I’d rather marry a girl. I don’t think I’d marry a boy.

DADDY
Okay.

DYLAN
Especially not [REDACTED]. He’s naughty. Well, he’s getting better. He used to be a lot naughtier when we were in the four-year-old classroom. Also, he uses a lot of potty words.

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