Take these chances, place them in a box until a quieter time; lights down you up and die. -- Dave Matthews, Ants Marching

The Tribe: Episodes 26-30

  • Dalek gets himself locked up by the evil crazy nomads, and still can’t quite get that they’re evil
  • Meanwhile, Magenta finally starts to feel guilty about leaving Trudy to die.
  • The all-consuming plot-arc for this set of episodes is an impending meeting of all the tribes, wherein a bunch of tribes which are mostly psychopaths will all hang out together and make peace. This can’t possibly go wrong.
  • Zandra makes Lex Luthor “dump” Tyson, which, of course, surprises her, as she didn’t actually think they were going out.
  • In this week’s “Remembering Zoot”, Bray flashes back to Himself crying out in anguish over his brother’s death.
  • The head of the evil nomads is outright offended by the supposition that he’s a cannibal, and says, as if he’s doing the explanation scene at the end of an episode of Three’s Company where they explain that the crazy scheming everyone’s been doing all episode has been predicated on someone having mis-over-heard a conversation, that they’re not cannibals: they’re slave traders.
  • Big market for slaves? I guess.
  • The cars. Are still. On fire.
  • Bray goes to meet with Ebony, who convinces him that the impending intertribal meeting is on the level, by explaining, in better diction than most adults, that times are tough, and she’d rather rebuild civilization than be the lord of the flies. Bray instantly believes her, since he is, as previously established, a moron.
  • Bray returns and is chewed out for meeting with Ebony, Zandra points out that he always runs off without telling anyone to do his own thing, ignoring all the consequences for the others. Zandra does not point out that nothing he’s done has had any negative consequences.
  • At the meeting, there will be a dance-off. Yes. Really.
  • When Amber goes to see Tyson about the dancing and the trouble she’s caused what with the sleeping with Lex Luthor, Tyson is practicing her dance moves to a cassette. Of the incidental music from The Tribe.
  • Lex Luthor gives Zandra a ring he made from bits of an alternator, and she goes all gooey and agrees to move in with him but not have sex. Given that it is after the apocalypse, this seems like a raw deal.
  • Part of Zandra’s plan here is that she will “test” Lex. He passes if he can live with her while not getting sex. Given Lex’s track record, I gather that failure on this test would take the form of raping Zandra. Zandra has not thought this plan all the way through.
  • Zandra also, offhandedly, announces that she’ll marry Ryan if Lex fails to not have sex with her. Now, I know I’ve mentioned that these people are stupid. But Ryan has told Zandra at point-blank range that he is in love with her. They are really making me feel sympathy for this girl.
  • Bray tries to sell windmill technology at the intertribal meeting, because Kiwi Kid From Love Actually hasn’t told him that the damned thing doesn’t work. (Probably because Lex Luthor nicked a bit of the alternator to make a ring. He offers it up by saying “Unlimited. Free. Power. We have the technology.”
    • Leah and Ross: We can rebuild him
  • The major sticking point of the meeting seems to be that everyone is perfectly happy with their slavery-based economy, which operates on the basis of whipping kids while they pedal on stationary bikes hooked to cassette players. Dystopia, right, so everyone’s got 80s boom boxes.
  • In other news, Magenta appears to be Bulimic. Which seems outright rude when it’s the post-apocalypse and food is scarce.
  • Poor Ryan. Someone just let him know that the ten thousand dollars he’s been hoarding is missing.
  • Lex Luthor, who had been convinced that the meeting was a bad idea, seems to be determined to make this be true. First, he gets jumped by the guy he sold out way back in episode 1, then the bit he stole from the alternator means that the tribe is sure to get ripped into tiny little pieces by the big kids.
  • Just noticed. The power walk in the end credits, which shows the characters sort of playing on the beach — Zoot’s in it. Which means that it’s not, strictly speaking, in continuity, like the power walk at the end of Buckaroo Banzai
  • Leah posits an alternate possibility: Maybe in the season finale, they discover Cylon ressurection. All this has happened before.
  • “The Locos pride themselves on their breakdancing.”
  • Have I mentioned lately that I am sick and tired of the “I’m so sure I’m going to win that I will cheat.” The Locos win the danceoff by threatening to murder the Emcee. Which means that Amber loses her side-bet and is now a slave. Meanwhile, Zandra tries to return the missing copper wire, drops it down a hole in the ground, and this gives the Locos time to smash the turbine as punishment for daring to try to make life a bit less terrible.
  • But as it turns out, violence is the answer to this one. Lex Luthor starts a fight and everyone escapes.
  • Trudy thinks Magenta’s having morning sickness as she’s carrying Bray’s child. This is the same mistake Leah made because, come on. Bulimia?
  • The handcuffs restraining Dal are quite clearly made of plastic
  • KC takes about 5 minutes longer getting back from the escape, so they assume he’s dead.
    • Dal: Who’s KC?
    • Leah and Ross: Your replacement
  • Magenta (whose name, by the way, is actually “Saline”, I think) finally tells Trudy about how she’d left her to die when she’d poisoned herself. This will undoubtedly make Trudy have some kind of weird angry episode. But I just want to point out: At the time this happened, Trudy wanted to die, and Magenta is the only one who even came close to respecting her wishes.
  • Sasha Baron Cohen, the newest Mallrat, is a wandering jester who followed Dal home because they were chained to each other. He’s trying to compose the theme song from The Tribe
  • Sasha sends the kids off to get “hair combs”. Are there some other kind of combs in New Zealand?
  • Speaking of Sasha playing the theme song… I wonder if the intro will encode the co-ordinates for real earth
  • Lex Luthor turns out to be illiterate. This is supposed to explain some of his actions

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