1. Having your fingers severed by a chainsaw, though painful, does not require immediate medical attention
2. Everyone over the age of 12 in Bratislava is part of an international serial murdering snuff-ring run by the Russian mob.
3. You can always tell when someone’s with the Russian mob by their @gang.rus email address.
4. There is a level of suck a movie can achieve beyond which no amount of Slasher-Film-Nudity can make it watchable.
Now, #2 seems like a pretty bold thing for the makers of this movie to assert. I mean, that’s sure to piss off all the people in Bratislava. And I wouldn’t want to piss those guys off: I recently learned that they’re all part of an international serial-murdering snuff-ring run by the Russian mob.
So, to recap: Bratislava’s major exports:
